Every child, at some point, has that first moment where they learn that there is a gap between where society ends and real life begins.
Let’s say you’re third in line, let’s say for lunch. The cafeteria is serving fiestadas. (if you don’t know what a fiestada is, consider your eyes lucky and your stomach deprived). Once the fiestadas run out, the only lunch options left are peanut butter & jelly & cheese sandwiches (I am not making this up. Klem Road South School sold these abominations when I was a student).
From where you stand, you see there are three fiestadas left. You relax. Math is on your side.
Suddenly, some girl shows up who’s friends with the girl ahead of you in line. They squeal, they giggle—it’s amazing as a child how excited you can get running into your friends AND OH MY GOD YOU CAN’T BELIEVE YOU RAN INTO EACH OTHER EVEN THOUGH YOU RIDE THE SAME BUS AND ARE IN THE SAME BUILDING FOR EIGHT HOURS—and then the girl who was ahead of you orders a fiestada, and her friend orders one, and the dude ahead of you gets the last one. Continue reading
Q: How can a novel that includes a gruesome opening scene and precisely zero likable characters turn out to be the best novel you’ve read in a long time?
A: Check out my review!
I used to have a MySpace blog, back when MySpace was Facebook, before Facebook became Facebook. Some of the best blogs came from subjects/ideas that readers suggested.
So, if there’s anything you’d like to see discussed here, lemme know. Really: anything. No subject is too limited or too full-of-itself-already. Ask a question you’ve always wanted to ask. Dare me to argue a bizarre point of view. Let me adopt an experiment you conceived in a moment of misguided passion and raise it as my own quirky adoptee.
You can reply here, or email me privately.
Today is Friday, June 21st, 2013. I thought today would be the last day my stepdaughter was living with us before she goes to her dad’s for the rest of the summer. I thought today would consist of my stepdaughter, my girlfriend and I enjoying the beach, then going miniature golfing, then eating out for dinner, then getting Carvel, then enjoying our last hours together for the next two months, then reading to her before she goes to sleep. The last 3 books I read to her were the graphic novel “The Marvelous Land of Oz,” a book where X leads an alphabet revolution (he’s tired of being in so few words, and persuades the other letters to overthrow the alphabet; he tells I and E they must be tired of all the rules, and taps into Q’s unspoken weariness at always ending up stuck with U), and one of my old Choose Your Own Adventure books, “The Fairy Kidnap.”
Today, instead, my ex-family is leaving town. By the time my ex-girlfriend returns to our ex-home, I will likely have moved out. I will never again read to my ex-stepdaughter. There will be no Carvel. No dining out together. No more days at the beach (really glad I bought an all-summer beach permit a couple weeks before I move away).
What has my day been? Continue reading
I’m still learning this blog, and it’s very much on-the-job-training. It’s not as user-friendly organized as it will be, but I’m working on it.
For now, all entries are posted in a specific category; these categories can be found on the right side of the page. The category definitions can be found in the “How To Use This Site” tab at the top of the screen.
I’ve received a lot of helpful advice and suggestions already. If you have any thoughts/questions/insights, please let me know!
If the Spurs win their 5th title tonight, you know what one player is as responsible as any for their victory? Someone who hasn’t played in seven weeks.
When Russell Westbrook went down with a knee injury in late April, you could hear the sighs of relief coming from Memphis, San Antonio, and Los Angeles. Suddenly, the West was wide open.
The playoffs have little to nothing to do with the regular season. Judging teams on how they do in the playoffs suffers the same limitation as any statistic is prone to: it’s one way of looking at something, but it doesn’t cover everything.
Last year, OKC ran over the Spurs for 4 straight wins after being down 0-2. Westbrook was a big part of that. There isn’t really a team in the league that has a one-on-one answer for him. You take him away from the equation, you take away the Spurs’ greatest threat in the West.
The Spurs may be the only team in the league that has all the ingredients necessary to beat Miami in a 7-game series. These ingredients include: Continue reading
A couple days ago I was planning how to celebrate what would have been the two-year anniversary of my relationship.
My girlfriend and I have led busy lives for about as long as we’ve been together; for most of the last 6 months, this busy-ness had us on two different Circadian rhythms—I’m up by 8 and asleep by 11 p.m.; she doesn’t go to bed till 2 or 3, somehow musters the energy to make breakfast and get her child on the bus, then sleeps till 10 or 11.
Last week I was out of town. I missed her. I missed her kid. Hell, I even missed the dog. We’d talk on the phone at night, before going to sleep, and when we did I felt lighted and delighted, like I was on top of a cloud…and the first few nights I was away, I was sleeping on an air mattress that turned out to have a leak and was rubbish within 2 days. So when I say speaking with my girlfriend made me feel like I was on top of a cloud, that’s not some casual, throwaway simile. That’s elevation, holmes. Continue reading