How I’m living

Two and a half weeks ago, I strained my groin. I think.


I’ve tried to come up with a less inelegant way of saying that. Short of not saying it, though, I can’t. If you say you pulled a leg muscle, that doesn’t quite cover the scope of the injury. Pulling a hamstring, for instance, means you can’t run. “Pulling” anything sounds like a one-shot excess, something that heals pretty quickly. The groin I strained is in the same area where I got a hernia that had to be operated on last year. I don’t like mentioning “groin” because the word itself sounds like a church bell made out of slapstick ringing (groin…groin). I don’t like mentioning I have a groin injury because it’s not a sexy injury. When I was 21 I got mugged by 2 guys. I had contusions on my skull and my leg, a thumbprint on my neck for 3 days from where I got choked out, and my wrist was fractured. At least that’s a good, dramatic story. A strained groin sounds like something karma gives you to get back at you for that time in 10th grade you farted on the bus and blamed it on the quiet friendless kid in the seat in front of you.
No, I never did that. But I bet it made you think of a time you did something horrid. Continue reading

I don’t miss the bad old days.

Sometimes I pity Marc Berman.


Being an NBA columnist appears, from a distance, to be a lot like being a school teacher. For 9 months a year your everyday is longer than people realize, busy from dawn to dusk, full of new developments and surprising twists and drama you may have nothing to do with but you have to explain to a bunch of passionate, worked-up outsiders who think they know more than you do.

At least teachers get summer vacation. Sure, some of them work then as well (summer school = Vegas summer league), and there’s always prep work that goes on before the dance begins again in the fall. But there is a designated time of the year where no one is demanding teachers bust out a lesson plan, or speculate on how next year’s class will do.

NBA columnists have bosses who demand they justify their existence on the payroll by coming up with something during the long, lonely months of August & September. Which brings us to today’s Berman piece in the NY Post: Continue reading

Your monthly reminder that James Dolan sucks

Let’s get this out of the way right off the bat: no one’s a fan of the New York Knicks because all they care about is championships.

There’s a whole sad generation of Yankee fans who subscribe to title-or-bust (God, have I enjoyed keeping the sharp objects away from this lot 12 of the last 13 years). Some Laker fans also fall into such privileged thinking. Maybe Celtic fans used to, but only winning 1 title in 27 years puts a damper on that kind of uppity.


Because speculating about who the Knicks’ end-of-bench players will be doesn’t exactly get the blood pumping, their media and their fanbase are feening like Tyrone Biggums for something, ANY-thing, to talk about. It’s like Knickland is a dry-ass forest, and there’s no rain on the horizon for months…all it takes is a single spark and suddenly we got a wildfire on our hands.

Which brings us to Carmelo Anthony…or rather, to speculation over whether Carmelo’s future includes the Knicks. Continue reading

Some of my best (white) friends use racist language!!!

I don’t know if the link above posted correctly…it’s supposed to be a clip of Louis CK talking about why it’s great to be white.
He clarifies that he doesn’t think white people are better than other people; just that, if he had to sign up every year to “be” something, he’d sign up to be a white man every time.

This video came to mind today thanks to some discussions I’ve been having with friends about the Riley Cooper story. Riley Cooper plays football for the Philadelphia Eagles. Back in June, at a Kenny Chesney concert, a drunk Cooper, confronted (apparently peaceably) by a security guard, pointed off-camera and said “I will fight every nigger here.” Continue reading