The Dolan Abides


I have asthma.

It’s pretty under control. I carry an inhaler, but I rarely need it. Months pass between uses, sometimes more than a year. It’s almost possible to forget that I even have asthma. Of course, every once in a while, when it becomes difficult to breathe, I’m quickly reminded: oh yeah. That. That thing that sucks. That’s never going to go away—not for good. I’ll be gone one day. Not the asthma. Not what sucks. That will never go away.

James Dolan is asthma. Continue reading

Don’t look back, Orpheus


I don’t know if any gift in my life brought me more joy than the Nintendo my parents bought for Christmas 1988.

We got the triple pack that came with the NES system, the gun that went with Duck Hunt, and the Power Pad, which was the ancestor of both the Wii and Tom Smykowski’s “Jump To Conclusions” mat from Office Space.

images-102images-103 Continue reading

Stupid Cupid

So life is…strange.
By which, really, I mean I’m strange.

My groin strain has healed more and more as time’s gone on. Whether that means it’s healed enough to start working out again, I have no idea. I don’t even know if it’s a groin strain…it’s possible the fact that it’s still not 100% healed means it needs more time. It’s possible it means I have a non-painful hernia–apparently, that’s a thing that exists. I can’t wrap my head around that. Mostly ‘cuz I’m afraid that’s what I have, and that I’ll need surgery again, and I’d rather experience another Bush in the White House than another surgery just a year after the last one. Plus, how can you have a non-painful protrusion that tears through you abdominal wall? That’s like telling a girl, “Just lemme put it in for a second.” Who are you kidding? Continue reading