SNATCH VALENTINE by Matthew Miranda

Norfolk, located on the east coast of England, was long considered England’s “second city,” after London, right up to the Industrial Revolution. In the Victorian era, Valentine’s Day held tremendous significance. On this day, Norfolkian? Norfolkite? Norfolker? lovers exchanged gifts with one another.

Like a benevolent game of Ding Dong Ditch, there’d be a knock on your door, you’d open it, no one would be there, you’d look down, and there’d be a gift on your doorstep, said to have been left by Jack Valentine. And because even without a toy aisle, Victorian children were greedy little piles of stress-inducement, parents would leave them gifts as well.

Y'all think Oediups is classic lit. It was a warning! TOO LATE NOW! NOM NOM NOM!!!

Y’all think Oediups is classic lit. It was a warning! TOO LATE NOW! NOM NOM NOM!!!

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