In which I explored the history of the 13 men to wear #25 for the Knicks, including newest acquisition Derrick Rose, question where all our great American names have gone, and remember Dave Chappelle’s classic zen take on cucumbers versus pickles.
In which I take the unpopular view that the current Knick interim coach, Clark Kent though he may appear, may not be the write-off candidate many have made him out to be. I also get to fit Star Wars and Indiana Jones into the piece, so mission accomplished, son.
“…when Alexander the Great saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.”
The Knicks’ stud rookie Kristaps Porzingis is pretty accomplished, too! But even he has room to improve, and thus I wrote about three aspects of his game he’s yet to conquer.
In which I recap the Knicks’ utterly predictable encounter with the historical Warriors via demonic possession, The Princess Bride, and one of actuality’s great paradoxes.
In which the Knicks got thoroughly destroyed, Chris Paul got justly popped in the grill, and…and there’s nothing else to say, really. The Knicks got destroyed.
In which a half-dozen Knick scribes, moi included, highlight the 2016 Knicks’ most unexpected positive developments that don’t involve Kristaps Porzingis, the greatest thing to hit New York City since…ever. The good news: there are at least a half-dozen non-KP developments to be excited about!
In which I recap the basketball equivalent of 改革開放 vs. пятиле́тки, indulge my immature side (nomenclature-wise), and reference one of the greatest moments in the history of The Simpsons.
In which I recap the Knicks continued winning ways, liken a Latvian to a Russian and a giraffe, and discuss the most powerful cosmic event in the known universe.
In which I discuss the Knicks second straight loss, give a shout-out to aunts everywhere who can’t cook, imagine the first time a tyrannosaurus rex scared something, and paraphrase what Sun Tzu would’ve thought of Thanksgiving if he’d thought of Thanksgiving.